Chill… yeah I’ve been busy with work recently with deadlines coming up close. I’ve missed out on the usual Friday humor and I think I’m still short of at least 2 eatgod posts, especially the Teluk Intan trip and Kapar seafood. Man, if I were working in a publishing company I believe that company would have fired me already! Anyway life is like that, sometimes you have to prioritize some things and let go of some other stuff but definitely I won’t give up blogging here.

I’ll be going back to my hometown this weekend so just to keep myself on track here’s something to lighten up your day :)

These are from a book called ‘Disorder in the American Courts’ and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach and this little girl comes up to him so he covers his private parts with a newspaper.

The little girl says, ‘What’s under there?’

The man answers, ‘A bird.’

The girl goes away and the man falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he is in a hospital and in great pain. A doctor comes up to his bed and asks, ‘What happened?’
The man answers, ‘I don’t know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to a little girl.’

So the doctor tells this to the police, and they go to the beach to find witnesses.

When they get there, they see the little girl the man was talking about and they ask her if she did anything to the man.

She answers, ‘ I didn’t do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played with his bird. After a while, it spit at me, so I broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!’

Time for Happy Hour!!

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant…Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write ’Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

‘Honey,’ she said, ‘You received a very strange post card today.’

‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

On the card was written:
‘Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.’

Have a wonderful weekend!

Here are some jokes kick-start your weekend!

Top Joke in Australia

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that
he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the
girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from
the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son,
”I’m sorry to say this son but I have to. The
girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don’t tell your  mother.”

The young man again brought three more names to his
father but ended up frustrated because the response was
still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother.
”Mom I want to get married but all the girls that
I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn’t tell you.”

His mother smiling said to him,
”Don’t worry my son, you can marry any of
those girls.  You’re not his son.

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en·gi·neer (ěn’jə-nîr’)
n. a lowly paid individual who is trained and skilled in the meticulous design, construction and operation of man made objects either tangible or non-tangible for, but not necessarily the betterment of mankind; usually seen tinkering with objects and rendering them useless or non-operational afterwards

block (blɒk)
n. a solid piece of substance which annoyingly gets in the way of everything which is not limited to objects but used to illustrate humans as well i.e. blockhead

en·gi·neer’s block (ěn’jə-nîr’s blɒk)
n. commonly known in the engineering world as a condition where the engineer is unable to perform his/her duties unless given increment, incentives and alcohol; symptoms include the inability to operate CAD, twitter-ing like a twit, facebook-ing all day and fiddling with blog settings.

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”

The teacher fainted…