You start to vent your anger as you discover the current system is collapsing and all that you have worked for will be in vain. All those years of building and constructing sums to zero as the walls begin to crumble under the very foundation you sold your soul to.

Looking for alternatives, you begin to check for any possible opportunities in the new future.You start to look for ways to preserve your status, your value in the current system but yet you cannot find any.

All hope is lost, you tell yourself. Everyone around you has started to embrace the truth. You begin to lose hope but yet you cannot bring yourself to follow your heart. You start to not care about what happens, falling into a state of depression.

The tides turn and you know you have lost. The walls have come down and all that remains are reminisce of a twisted future. The corrupt system you defended so boldly is no longer there. You curse yourself for not being an early adopter and now you don’t have a choice but to be a laggard.

Examining the pieces of your shattered resolve, you find that deep down inside, the very reason you fought so hard in the first place was for the exact same reason the new adopters are fighting for now.

You remember now that somewhere along the journey you have lost your way, misguided by the very trolls of greed and corruption. All the complications of the system has made you someone you never wanted to be.

Your vision now is clear. You know what you are fighting for.

You always have.

Frustrated, I finally found a heap of China Fuji apples going for 40 sens each, picked my 10 and queued up to get it priced at the weighing counter. It was a long line that day and everyone was trying to get in and get out quickly.

All of a sudden there was this guy with a goatie that dashed to the front of the line with his bag of carrots, grunted something to the attendant asking him to weigh his items but was shoo-ed off and asked to queue at the back of the line.  No drama there as the guy walked away and proceeded to the back of the line but suddenly he just cut right in front of me!

I was flabbergasted and filled with rage. I quickly mouthed, “Eh tak reti beratur ka? (Hey, don’t you know how to queue up?)” The guy turn his head around partially and grumbled something incomprehensible. I wanted to give him a lecture there and then but after I took a good look at him, I stopped my self as I finally realized that he was a Down’s Syndrome kid. My rage was withheld as I was caught in a moral dilemma. I kept to myself but still struggling to keep my cool as the line progressed and I got my stuff weighed.

Should I have taught that guy a lesson and chided him in public? But I would look like a bully lecturing a person less fortunate than me. Or did I do the right thing by just keeping quiet and letting him cut in front of me in the queue? Morally what I did was right but was it right for that Down Syndrome kid to be uncivilized? Does being less fortunate entitle you to be less of a civilized person?

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The video snippet above is from the movie American History X and is cut from the scene where the lead character Derek Vinyard has just been attacked and sodomized in prison. While he is recuperating in the hospital, his mentor from high school Bob Sweeney drops in to visit about his younger brother, Danny . Derek dismisses Bob and tells him that what ever happens to Danny is none of his business plus he can’t do anything about it in prison.  The following conversation ensued.

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn’t get no answers ’cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.

Derek Vinyard: Like what?

Bob Sweeney: Has anything you’ve done made your life better?

Ask yourselves that very same question. Reflect back on your past. Has anything you’ve done made your life better?

Or to make thing clearer, has anything negative you’ve done made your life better?

Has all those revolting teenage years made your life better today?

Has all your participating in street protests and being locked up in detention made your life easier now?

Has all that negative energy in the past contributed to improving your current state of being?

If you have answered YES then probably you were the lucky one. Do not end up like Derek Vinyard where he came to realization after it was too late.

Do something about it. Change your life for the better. If you don’t, no one will do it for you.

American History X is an eye and mind opening movie which highlights the struggle of a former neo-Nazi skinhead who tries to prevent his younger brother from going down the same wrong path that he did  You can watch it on YouTube here. Caution – This movie contains profanity, nudity and racial elements. For mature audiences only.